This weekend I have a special weekend link roundup for you, and its nature is one that is serious enough that I don't think it would be appropriate to clog up my post with pictures of cattle rustlers or send out funny emails this time.
A number of the blogs I read regularly (or learned about from a link from a blog I DO read regularly) have had touching accounts of struggles with sexual addiction. Sexual brokenness is such a tremendous struggle both within the Church and outside of it that I would argue that its effects may be analogous to a cultural Black Death. Lust, like the bubonic plague, had long afflicted humanity, but societal changes may allow it, like the plague, to sweep over hill and dale and into the homes of all people, tearing them asunder. In the 1300's, longer winters reduced food supplies, and widespread malnutrition weakened immune system responses, just as trade with the Orient brought plague-infested rats aboard merchant sloops. Between one and two of every three people perished.
Our culture today suffers from hunger. The old cultural mores are fading fast and indifference to God dulls many. The relentless pursuit of perfection (Lexus's motto, by the way) and wealth erodes what little substance remained, as rainwater washes away the earth from fallow fields. How many are raised by absent fathers--more shadow than flesh--or driven mothers--who clutch rather than hug?
Amidst this societal brokenness, pervasive cable television and interactive internet carry an old disease but unleash a new epidemic. And we barely have the strength to fight. See this, and read the comments, too.
Here are the stories of those who have been infected--but they are also stories of healing, as well. But before you read them, I'd invite you to pray. Repent, if need be. I don't want this to be some light reading nestled in between ESPN and Drudge Report. If you don't treat this topic with respect, I'd rather you not read at all; sexual addiction feeds on numbness to tragedy, and I will do all I can to prevent my blog from furthering any such numbness. My prayer is that this would convict the indifferent, encourage the despairing, and bless the recovering. It is why each of these three chose to share their stories, and they have been a blessing to me.
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Anne Jackson, Flowerdust.net
Anne is one of my favorite bloggers, probably because she has personality--she says: "Anne Jackson is a big dork who loves God, her husband, people, the church, and writing. Oh, and dark chocolate." If you've ever read my emails instead of deleting them, you know I'm a fan of self-deprecating humor.
Anyway, here are links to struggles she shared, with a quick excerpt after each.
Something happened not long after Chris and I got married. There was a guy we both knew and for whatever reason, I began getting tons of attention from him. Now that we were married, the whole conviction thing crept in and I told Chris what my mind and emotions were doing. It was THE scariest thing I have ever done. But I promise you. It is possible. You can tell your spouse what you’ve been going through.
Pretty Woman - My Battle with Beauty and the Beast
Something I have always battled is comparing myself to other women. It’s almost natural for me to see someone and think, “If I were that skinny…that tall…that confident…if my teeth were that white…my skin that clear…” but on the flip side, I also think, “I’m glad I’m not that fat…that short…that gangly…that wrinkled…”
So..I know this has been a really scary thing to write about. Honestly, I’m still debating whether I should post this or not. But I don’t think I have a choice. This is a real problem and if we keep hiding it - like I did for so long - we will always be a slave to it.
Cindy Beall
I learned about Cindy because her posts were cross-listed on Anne's blog right before Christmas (they evidently know each other and will be working at the same church in Oklahoma City).
I heard the cracking of my heart as he spoke and felt the devastation setting in almost immediately.
But it’s not really Chris I trust…it’s the Jesus in him that I trust. Isn’t that the way it is with all of us?
Be sure to see that link to her boys...it's a treasure.
Tim Yeager, Truth Isn't Sexy
I found Tim's blog also via comments from Anne's blog, and I've been reading his long and arduous struggle towards recovery. It's been difficult and not without stumbles, but if God can make a dead man live, he can restore his son. Here are some various posts.
The Breakthrough (12/1/05)
The Pain in Healing (12/8/05)
The proper way for a broken man with a deep wound of brokenness to be healed, is to allow God to heal you from your root, slowly and steadily. Everyone’s root is different, but it is where all addictions are based. I have needs inside of me that long to be met. If I may quote somebody, who quoted another somebody, “”Unmet Needs get Met, it is our choice who meets them”". I chose the wrong desire for many years to meet my needs, and it left me empty and emotionless (I know I will be talking about the loss of emotions in a later blog). The only one who can meet your unmet needs is God. I mentioned earlier that I wasn’t sure if packing a wound hurts, but I can tell you that the process of God healing me
hurt my flesh, greatly. It is a slow process, one that is still going on now, but is the only way to be truly healed. It has been likened to the process of refining gold, one that requires fire, patients and time.
Alright, Here it Is (2/22/06)
This past month I have:
Call Adult Chat lines
I have called strippers, posing as a guy interested in ordering there services
I have lied.
Somewhere deep in my soul I tried to justify all of this by not masturbating. God doesn’t care about what I do or don’t do, He cares about my heart. I have been selfish; I have kept my heart to myself, away from God and my wife.
I Am Broken (3/29/06)
I am full of shame, self-hate and I feel hopeless. I am scared to find out that God’s plan for my wife is for her to be happy far away from me...So here I am, hurting because of the hurt that I have caused my wife by the selfish choices that I have made. fearful that my honesty will be the end of the only thing I have left, and terrified that I will be alone...
A Month for the Books (6/13/07)
I am not sure if I may ever say that am free from any past temptation, but I can say that I am definitely at a healthier place in my life. My relationship with Christ has seemed to turn into one of dependency on Him, and intern seems to be adding depth to a relationship that was at one time living or dying at the surface...My wife and I are closer than we have ever been. Still separated, but honestly much better off than any other time in our life. We still aren’t free of struggle, but our ability to to resolve has definitely improved.
Our Deepest Fear (10/1/07)
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
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That is it for now. Feel free to comment, and as always, I would be happy to pray for y'all if you tell me.
Preview for next time: Quick thoughts on politics and religion, coming Wed, Jan 2 (or thereabouts).
3 comments:
Ty, as always, I am impressed by your writing. Your paragraph that begins with "Our culture..." was terrific, as powerful as any of the links you posted. Thanks for a serious reflection on this topic that drags so many down, that keeps Christians from living in the reality of Christ's victory. "But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory, in Christ Jesus our Lord." I read the first couple and am choosing not to read the last guy you posted because I don't want to allow my mind to wander while reading it, but I appreciate it. You are top-notch bro, keep it up.
TY, where do you find time outside of med school to keep up with this blog? Nevertheless, I do enjoy your thoughts and wish we were living nearer to each other and could dialog about these topics in person. You are an amazing friend and I'm sure you will make a great doctor.
Thank you so much for the encouraging words, appreciation of self-depreciating humor, and links. I hope you'll continue hanging around le flowerdust bloggy blog.
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